Editorial 18th November 2001

Hello there once again, and welcome back.

[See also Latest Update -below]:

Not of course that you have necessarily been anywhere - well apart from the odd hols or business trip possibly - but as some of the more observant among you may have detected CAPnews went on a 'short walk-about' for a period. I don't really understand what happened but we wandered off into the ether somewhere, which resulted in our being 'off air' for a while.

We know that we do have at least half a dozen or so 'readers' as about that number called in to report the failure, so apologies to them at least, for any inconvenience, or possibly even distress, that our little lapse may have caused. The domain, or something, had to be changed, which we were assured would all be totally transparent, but as we will all doubtless recall to our cost even the smallest alteration can frequently have the most disastrous of outcomes - one tinkers at ones peril!

Well not a great lot has happened, since out last update. Sema of course is effectively no more, having been firmly corralled into the Schlumberger stable. Emperor Tony is even more firmly ensconced on his throne - or from whatever it is that emperors look down - while the nation that he now 'rules' over is again left wanting as Tim Henman's aspirations of immortality were being blown away by an Exocet that breezed into South-west London from the Balkans, and the Lions found out that while a Wallaby made a tasty starter, they weren't so sweet by supper time! And we just won't talk about the cricket!

Even if Sema is irretrievably no more CAP (or at least CAPnews) lives on! As all those who have previously visited the web site will be aware, that by popular request we are having another reunion bash next year on Friday May 3rd. - it being CAP's 40th anniversary. Unfortunately the 'how and what' poll that we ran last year on the event wasn't a great deal of help - like we only had about half a dozen replies! - so we have carried out a further straw poll, which has suggested that even though Central London isn't everyone's ideal location it is still felt to be generally the best option. Also many people felt last time that the sit down meal left too little time for the 'mix and mingle' part of the evening, so this time we are going for a buffet type meal instead. The food is likely to be a whole variety of mainly rice and pasta based dishes, including some vegetarian, which hopefully will cater for most tastes - and sate even the hardiest appetite! It may not be quite as genteel as 'silver service' but the food will undoubtably be much more varied and we think better(!) and best of all and you will be able to eat at your convenience.

Although we still have to finalise the details, from the quotes we have in so far, it looks as though we could do the venue and food for around £15 a head - leaving the drinks down to personal choice directly from a cash bar.

One of the biggest problems that we are again facing is how to advertise the event, without leaving anyone who doesn't hear about it directly feeling possibly left out! Needless to say nothing could be further from the truth but unfortunately we believe that that may have happened last time. Everyone and anyone who has ever worked for CAP or any of its derivatives is naturally very welcome, so please pass the word around to as many ex-CAPers as you can, and stress that indeed the event is open to everyone!

In fact rather than risk some people possibly feeling left out, we are not sending out any direct invitations this time, but instead intend relying solely on the web site (and the grapevine) to spread the word. This time lets make the net really work, so make sure your CAP friends know where to find CAPnews!

As with CAP2000, we do need to ask anyone intending to come to register and at the same time to also send a £5 deposit, together with a stamped addressed envelope to where subsequently they would like their ticket(s) to be sent. A registration form is included on the 'Events' page, which we would very much appreciate you using.

Again as with CAP2000, we will open an account with the Halifax Building Society - so please can you make your cheques payable to

'CAP40 Reunion - 2002'.

General information on the event will continue to be maintained on the web, but specific communication to those who have announced their intention to attend will in future be made via email and snail mail.

Next, just a brief word about the financial implications that may have resulted for some of you from the Schlumberger take-over. There has been a lot of correspondence on the matter, with many people joining a forum set up by David Woolley, to share ideas and information on numerous issues - from VCTs and the deferring of CGT, to Loan Notes, and the share option allocations and respective prices over the years, which you may find useful in helping you sort out issues such as your own CGT liability. You can refer to previous CAPnews via the archives for this information.

Incidentally if anyone comes up with any further ideas or experiences on the matter, which they would like to share, CAPnews will be glad to include your comments, subject to your agreement, on the next 'Letters' page

Finally, CAPnews has been asked to put in a plea to any ex-CAPers who may have passed through CAP's hallowed portals for only a brief spell - but still long enough to have accrued some pension benefits. Inevitably these would only have been pretty small - and possibly long since forgotten, or thought to be not worth bothering about - but collectively they apparently amount to a handsome chunk of money, which someone in the new organisation has been detailed to 'sort out'! What that precisely means we cannot say, suffice that at least someone is out there working for those of you who fall into this category. So if you think you may be due something, take a look at the 'Letters' page, where Pat Cooper is making the plea and tells you what you will need to do. It could certainly be worth making a telephone call - who knows what sized sturdy oak your little acorn may have matured into! Good luck! (Donations from all successful beneficiaries to the ex-CAPers benevolent fund!)

Anyway, time has finally caught up with us, so once again we trust you are all well. Hope you find something in this 'issue' to interest you. Please keep those emails coming in - they seem to be drying up lately, so come on get your thinking CAPs on and let's hear from you.

'Bye for now,

Mike West

CAPnews Editorial September 2001 Update.

When the kind of horrific event takes place that has recently so shocked the world, it somehow puts such things as ex-employers web sites and the social aspects associated with it, into trivial perspective. Whether any of our ex colleagues and friends were indeed caught up in the disaster, we do not know, but with such a heavy loss of life, we expect that there may well be some friends, or even worse loved ones, who will have perished or been injured. CAPnews wishes to extend its deepest sympathy and condolences to all the families and friends of all those who may have suffered so tragically in the appalling devastation that occurred on September the 11th. 2001. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all of them.

Naturally we will pass on any information we are asked to do, of any ex-CAPers or their relatives who may have suffered, however we will likewise respect the privacy of anyone who wishes to hold their private grief.

After such a terrible occurrence all other announcements pale into insignificance, however CAPnews can finally confirm that at last

CAP40 is go!

Once again The New Connaught Rooms is the venue, so if you haven't already done so, get Friday May 3rd. 2002 in your diary, and join many ex-CAPers for another nostalgic evening.

Hopefully many of you regular CAPnews visitors will have entered the event in your organisers already, despite the final details having still to be confirmed.

As announced in July, it will be similar in format to previous CAP get to-gethers, namely a mix-and-mingle reception but this time we will not be breaking up the evening with a 'sit down' dinner. That seems to have been the main bone of contention for many people who attended CAP30 and CAP2000, who felt that it took too much time out from the main point of the evening, i.e. the meeting and chatting to people. So this time we are going to have a running buffet, which people will be asked to take at their leisure and convenience.

It has in fact been getting the buffet organised that has taken the time with finalising the venue. To make the evening even more memorable - if that is possible! - we wanted to have a very different buffet to anything that anyone may have had before, by having it provide a variety of foods which will hopefully satisfy all tastes.

It will consist of about a dozen different cultural rice or pasta based dishes, ranging typically from English to Eastern and Asian, and European to Caribbean, some of which will be vegetarian. Any faint hearted can also be assured that while some of the meals will be typically spicy there will be nothing that will be too hot, so don't worry! There will be something, indeed many things we hope, for everyone. We don't exactly expect anyone to have a taste of everything, but we would hope that there will be enough for anyone to do so if they so wish!

For those of you who may have been following the progress of this event already in CAPnews, there are a couple of (in fact three) slight changes from the original plans - a couple that directly affects you and one organisational, which doesn't.

The key one effecting yourselves is that unfortunately we are unable to do the night at the price that we had originally hoped. In the event the cost (for the venue hire and the food) will be £20 - with the deposit of £5 the same - however we cannot manage to get the drink included in that as well. So although overall it is still going to be significantly less than either CAP30 or CAP2000, you will still need to pay for your drinks. But at least how much more you spend on the night for drink will be down to you!

Regrettably the Connaught still run a fairly pricey bar, however at least for the beer drinkers among you this time we should be able to get some decent ale - the Connaught have agreed to get in some draught if we give them sufficient notice of what we want. So rest assured, even though it may still cost a bit, at least you should be able to get something worth drinking!

Incidentally just a brief explanation of why the cost is a bit more than we had originally hoped. It is simply down to the cost of the venue hire. We had quotes from a number of venues but either they couldn't take our expected/hoped for number of attendees or they couldn't meet our food requirements - or they were simply even more expensive. In the end, taking all counts, the Connaught proved the best option - although even their hire charges before the food aren't exactly peanuts! The main advantage with them however is that there really isn't any upper (or lower) limit on the number of attendees - although if we don't get close to our numbers for similar past re-unions (approaching 300) we could begin to look a bit silly! While it won't cost you anymore, it could put a nasty strain on our overall budget!

The second point of interest to you is that unfortunately we cannot now have the name CAP40 Re-Union for out Halifax account. Legislation now decrees that unless it can be shown that an account is on behalf of a properly registered company or association, with all the attendant documentation and constitution etc., then it has to be in the name of an individual. Apparently this is to prevent us doing any 'money laundering'!

So, as you will see on the registration form, all cheques (in future) need to be made payable to M. A. West (like that's me!) I hope that it doesn't cause too much of a problem - unless I should happen to pop my clogs before the event takes place! I have made provision for that unwelcome occurrence by putting a Codicil in my Will. You will all still get your bash, although I will only be with you in spirit, so to speak! But then you can then make mine a large one!

For everyone's information the Account details are as follows:

Account Type = Halifax Saver Reward

Holding Branch = Sittingbourne

Account (Roll) No. = 2/54973027-10

Finally, although the majority of the 'communication' concerning the event is going to be via the web, despite our earlier expectations, it has still been necessary to 'snail mail' initial details to about 200 people who don't have any access to the net. Even with this it means we have still only been able to contact directly the tip of the iceberg of ex-CAPers, but it is at least a start. However please try to help spread the word yourselves. The greater the number of people who know about the event the more successful, and hopefully enjoyable, will be the night.

Once again, to anyone hearing about this for the first time, we must stress that just because you may not have received notification of the event personally, it does not mean that you are not welcome - it just means that we have no contact address (either email or smail) for you. So why not take this opportunity, to let us know not only that you will be coming along, but also your contact addresses!

Incidentally, could I please encourage all of you who hope to attend to get your registrations in - it would help to ease the slight feeling of uncertainty that the number of applications to date (like fifteen !!!) is beginning to engender!

May 3rd. 2002 is going to be a great night - so go on, do yourself a favour, make sure that you are part of it and enjoy the cultural feast! Don't put it off!

(If you haven't noticed it before, take a look at the 'Events' page - where you'll find a Registration form!)

Finally, talking about 'Events', and on a completely different note, just a warning for you to see that the date for next years ex-CAP Open Golf has had to be changed to Thursday June 13th. Everything else is the same, but unfortunately the previous date proved to be unavailable.

Anyway, till the next update, thanks again for your time. Keep those emails/letters for the 'Letters' page coming in. 'Bye for now!

Previous News 16/3/2001

Sad to relate but we do not have any news items to publish at the moment. The word "stringer" comes to mind. Daily newspapers such as the Mirror all have their "stringers" throughout the country just waiting to ring up the news desk with the latest from their neck of the woods. CAPnews has "stringers" too - who are they you ask? They are you folk - you are the ones who should be our ears and eyes on the look out for stories about CAP and CAP people to e-mail in for us to publish for the interest of us all


CAPnews is saddened to learn of the recent death of Kevin Hughes. We have no details of the circumstances but we are sure that all his colleagues would wish to convey their condolences to his family and friends..

Past Events

CAP Golf Open 2001 - at Sudbury G. C. on Friday June 8th. 2001

The day opened dry and slightly cloudy, but with an optimistically bright forecast for the remainder of the day - which thankfully, apart from a brief flurry of precipitation around the lunch-time break, proved accurate.

A return to Sudbury after something like half a dozen years brought back many enjoyable memories. The course, readily accessible from all points north and west of London, is set in the upper reaches of Wembley towards Harrow-on-the-Hill - high enough to afford some splendid views of the capitol should anyone's attention begin to wander from the matter in hand!

The Grand Union canal meanders its' way through the course providing a natural hazard to catch the errant shot - it's murky depths are the final resting place for many a wayward approach to the 4th. The very first time CAP played there - many eons ago! - one ball in particular was heading for a watery end before rebounding back onto the green off a barge that was very conveniently moored alongside! No-one can remember if the par was made, but certainly the owner was not overly amused with having his vessel used as a side cushion! Suffice to say by the time the next group came through he was already full steaming it down the canal!

The final turn-out was a very creditable 20, which made for grand competition. It was particularly good to see so many past CAP Open Champions - even one double winner! - and one chap Ian Grimwade, who had even flown in from the States!! The ladies were also more than capably represented by Sue Jackman, who as Sue Wright was yet another past champion. The one disappointment of the day perhaps was that there were not more ladies.

The day began at a very civilised 10.30 - ostensibly to avoid the rush hour traffic - with a nine hole Texas Scramble, which not only ensured a more gentle start to the days' proceedings but also enabled everyone to familiarise themselves with the course while working off the early morning aches and pains that afflict many of the older members of the assembly!

The one noticeable thing throughout the day was the overall standard of play, which resulted in some very respectable scoring. Any casual observer might even have been fooled into thinking that he was watching some real golfers - with no less than three single figure exponents, Dominic Smith being the pride of the bunch playing off two (!!!)

The morning event set the pattern for the day, producing some notable performances generally but dominated by the French, Hart and Ritchie team, which left everyone trailing in their wake.

(Incidentally, Clive Hart has since got married again, so if anyone would like to send him and Jean their best wishes he can be emailed on clive.hart@tesco.net ).

The real event of course was the Open itself, which continued to bring out some fine golf with over half the field scoring 30 points or more. The three single figure handicap players (Grimwade, McLean and Smith) were grouped together to avoid intimidating the rest of the field. Although they accounted well for themselves, with only the one Par 5 on which to test their longer hitting advantage perhaps, they were always going to be up against it. Surprisingly perhaps what caught many out were the four Par 3 holes, despite three of them (supposedly) being the three easiest on the card. In the end however Big John Ritchie continued where he'd left off in the morning eventually running out the clear winner (with 39 points!) for his second CAP Open title - leaving the previous only other double champion, Andy Buchan, as the runner-up.

John keeps the CAPii for a year - the trophy was originally donated by Barney Gibbens in the early 70's, and has been played for annually ever since.

As with all CAP Opens there were a few other events (and prizes) such as the total points on the Par 3 holes, the Longest Drive and the Nearest the Pin. Apologies to the winner of the latter - records are a bit remiss and it is not clear who picked up that prize. Mind there was no doubt as to who hit the Longest Drive - that honour fell to Dominic Smith, who cracked the ball almost out of sight. A terrific shot by all accounts!

The Par 3 competition was particularly close with two players vying for the top spot, which eventually went to yet another past Open champion Graham Elliott, who took the first prize on count-back, from Mike West. They couldn't understand how everyone else had so much trouble!!

The day ended with a light dinner and the traditional prize giving, from which probably half the assembly walked away with something. The prizes weren't quite up to the renowned excellence of past glorious days, but thanks to some additional prizes which a couple of people had brought along, there were enough to make the proceedings worthwhile.

The success of the day can best be judged by the unanimous decision for everyone to return again to Sudbury next year so that the championship can once again become an annual event. So put the date in your diaries - it has already been booked - Thursday June 13th 2002.

List of Attendees.

Frank Agnew, Andy Buchan, Chris Conway, Steve Cordery, Graham Elliott, Mike Elson, Keith Foot, John French, Ian Grimwade, Clive Hart, Steve Hart, Mark Jackman, Sue Jackman, Mike James, Iain McLean, Martin Myers, John Ritchie, Stuart Skelsey, Dominic Smith, Mike West.

Yesterday in CAP 16/3/2001

A million years ago when the NHS was not what it has deteriorated into today CAP was at the forefront of introducing IT into doctor's surgeries (common place now!) Thanks to Doctor Mike James and Receptionist June Baker and their 1982 prototype system whenever we visit our GP today we can be sure that our records are not in a scruffy beige file wrapped in a rubber band - or can we?!

For your edification here is an extract from the marketing brochure endorsed by two (then) Tory Ministers - how times have changed:-

"The microcomuter is now accepted, if not taken for granted, as an indispensable item of office equipment by every business, small or large, with a claim to efficiency. It can do the accounts, monitor stocks, keep the records, cope with the payroll, act as a word processor - in fact handle any type of information in whatever way the user requires, provided it is supplied with the software which tells it how to do it.

In their different circumstances GPs also depend on information which is easily accessible - but by them and authorised staff only - to do their job, and the microcomputer could be as valuable to them as to business users.

The Micros for GPs Scheme is a pilot initiative launched jointly by the Department of Industry and the Department of Health and Social Security to explore how microcomputer systems can be used in general practices for the benefit of patients, doctors and the Health Service. We believe that the Scheme could be a valuable one, and hope that GPs will help by lending it their support".

Kenneth Baker MP Minister for Information Technology

Geoffrey Finsberg MP Department of Health & Social Security

Yes CAP Chaps, those were the days when we led the world in software innovation, wasn't just Barclays Bank, Concorde Fatigue Tests (flying again!!) and Redcar you know!

Talking of projects past and glorious bit of a shame you ex Simon Carves guys gave zero response to our last edition. We'd still love to here from you!

Letters 16.3.2001

By e-mail from Mike Parrish

Subj: CAP Reunion
Date: 25/08/01 07:12:21 GMT Daylight Time
From: Michael.Parish@ca.com (Parish, Michael)
To: westm@aol.com

Hi Mike,

How are you doing?

I'm glad to see the CAP phenomenon still continues. Those were memorable days. I'm in California currently (well actually I've been here for the past 22 years or so - ever since I left CAP).

But I'm still in the software industry - I work for Computer Associates - somewhat bigger than CAP. I work with our artificial intelligence products - Aion - our rules based software, and Neugents - our neural network technology - Its very interesting stuff. I'm also still involved in training and design methodology - though that has changed quite a bit since CAP days.

I have May 3, 2002 in my calendar for the reunion next year - though I won't know if I can actually get there for some time - but I will do my best. Last time I was in the UK I had very little time to renew acquaintances - though I did chat briefly with Tony Knott, Tony Gillingham and James Windle by phone. I was also able to visit with Robbie and Harley.

I know hosting a web page can be a rather thankless task - and getting contributions can be a bit like pulling teeth - but be assured, your efforts are greatly appreciated! Keep up the great work.

Feel free to post this on your web page (if you think it might be of interest) Visitors to California are welcome to give me a call (though there's a pretty good chance that I may be on a plane heading for such exciting places as Detroit or Boise) - but give it a try anyway - if I'm in town it would be good to get a beer - some of the local micro-breweries are actually quite acceptable - some even serve British beers!.

Aion/Neugent Advanced Technology Group

By e-mail from Don Hunter


Is there somewhere from which I can download a MicroCobol system, as there is for PGP, or is it still only a sellable product? I feel like running a few old programs like Missionaries and Cannibals again. Come to think of it Microcobol was not particularly good at Missionaries and Cannibals, it was better at Cash Flow demonstrations with all those marvellous hex constants.

The web site which purports to have this (Robinson ?) appears to offer lots of packages, but none called Microcobol.

Regards from Don Hunter.

By e-mail from Pat Cooper

Subject: Old CAP pensions

Hi Mike

As an employee still with Sema (or should I say Schlumberger Sema), our current pensions manager has pointed out that there are a heck of a lot of ex-CAP chaps out there who have a very small residual pension left with Sema, which they maybe haven't even thought about for years. It may be worth more to them to actually draw it now, than to leave such a small sum to take on retirement. At the very least they ought to review what they are doing with it. He intends to try to contact all the people in this position, but fears that we have no valid home addresses for many of them.

I suggested that through the web site, we may like to just mention to your readers that if they have an old CAP pension, they should not just ignore it, but review it to see what be best done with it. The pension manager at Sema would be more than pleased to discuss it with any former Sema employee.


By e-mail from Sharon Cooke


I thought you might be interested in a recent picture of Mr. Clark.

(Ed - Unfortunately the picture didn't come through, so we can't show you how Keith looks, but he was always a good looking devil - very Dudley Moore-ish.)

It has been six months since the surgery and he is doing remarkably well. He is in a FDA study with a new pacemaker/defibrillator. He has a 128K computer in his chest about the size of a pack of cigarettes. He is feeling better as time goes on. He has been enjoying the CAPnews web site. He will be making a trip to England in the first week of May, to see his family. I swear the man has more than 9 lives! Thank you for all the kind emails of encourage and support during a very intense time!


Sharon Cooke

By e-mail from Mike West

The big 'Domestic Water Charges' confidence trick.

I recently received from Southern Water my water charges for the coming year, and noticed an £18 charge for something called 'Surface Water Drainage'.

On looking back to last year's account I noticed that it was also charged then - and for all I know it could have been being charged for the last umpteen years! Indeed to quote from a Southern Water's letter '…. surface water and highway drainage are not new but form parts of a charge which has always been payable ……' suggest that we have been paying this charge for some time, but it has only now become conspicuous because it now has to be identified separately as a specific part of their charges. However under certain conditions (from the same letter) '…..under new guidance from the DETR, some customers can now claim a rebate of the surface water element'.

From the company's 'Application for rebate of surface water drainage charges' leaflet, where a property's surface water does not drain into the public sewer - eg it drains into a soak-away or private drain or sewer, that does not enter the public sewage system, '….you can claim a reduction of your charges'.

I don't know if all water companies are playing the same trick, but from how Southern are working, they make the charge and then wait for the customer to dispute it. Southern don't take it as their responsibility to check what type of surface water drainage a house has, they charge (and be damned!) and only rebate once the customer can prove that their surface water doesn't enter the public system! It's a racket of course, but possibly at £18 a throw, a very profitable one!

Whether I am eligible for a rebate, remains to be seen, but I have applied. Inevitably the application is a bit fiddly - you need to be able to show on a plan the positions of downpipes from gutters etc. and the public sewer/drainage system in respect to your property, but frankly, I believe it is worth pursuing - if even just on principle! I would certainly recommend that other householders (particularly of older properties, where downpipes etc. frequently drain just into soak-aways) examine their own bills to see if they are being charged, and if so then consider claiming a rebate. The service is bad enough, without giving the companies extra for nothing!

Incidentally, if you have problems with any of the pipework details etc. don't worry, even the company's own application form shows the whole thing is a con - they write, quote '…..If you are unsure of the underground pipework details do not incur professional costs to find out but simply give as much information as possible.' That strikes me that they know that they are on tricky ground and are just trying to cover their backs!

I will let you know how I get on, but if anyone wants to do the same all they need to do is contact their own water supply company, the telephone number for which will undoubtedly be on their bill.

Mike West.

Where Are They Now? 16.3.2001

A CAP Gathering?

The picture below was kindly lent to CAPnews by Mike James (sometime golfer and CAP Financial - thanks Mike)

Presumably he knows what it was, where it was and why were all these lovely lads and lasses there.

Unfortunately we don't (that is Ed & Webfactotum don't - we weren't there).

If you are on this "school photo" e-mail us and tell us what the event was and where it took place - we don't expect your memory to be efficient enough to tell us the date but someone might just be young enough to summon his grey cells into retrieval mode!

Let CAPnews have the lowdown. Possible prizes for a complete listing of the 61 photogenic personages.

Articles 16.3.2001

This Month's Article

One of those e-mails that come from who knows where - reminds me of days in Sema (as opposed to dear old CAP) - Webmaster


Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton's shameful video Grand Jury testimony is another.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm reboot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On key. For Windows it's Ctrl, Alt, Delete simultaneously.

YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS: The ubiquitous £20 notes spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal..."We each owe £8, but all anybody's got are "yuppie food stamps."

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located."

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks. (We all know who our WO(OF3)Y is don't we Mr. West?!!!)

Do you now do something different that might be of interest. If so we would be delighted to receive a piece from you for inclusion in CAPnews